The online community for gay chubs and chasers!




Bear Abby

From ugly dilemmas to sublime annoyances; Bear Abby has advice for all!


Are chasers crazy?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Bear Abby,

I've been recently seeing a therapist for my shyness problem. Initially, I thought my therapist was understanding of my being a chaser just like mental health professionals are affirming of LGBT people. Now that I have asked my therapist what he thought about my being a chaser he comes up with theories of it being a sexual preference I was coerced into by some fat person, which I know are not true. The last time I brought it up he also said being gay was caused by a passive father and overbearing mother. Are all chasers really crazy for being a chaser, or is my therapist a crazy quack? I'm afraid to leave because he might retaliate and out me to my family or work. He has told me he is a gun owner and showed me his concealed carry permit. What should I do?

-Scared Chaser


Dear Scared Chaser,

GET AWAY FROM THIS "THERAPIST" AS FAST AS POSSIBLE AND NEVER SPEAK WITH HIM AGAIN! The idea that being a gay man is caused by a passive father and overbearing mother is junk psychology that was thoroughly debunked by the American Psychiatric Association over 30 years ago. If he is still clinging to discredited BULLSHIT quack theories about what makes men gay he SURE AS HELL will not be able to help you with shyness issues. His theories about why you might be a chaser are equally dangerous and wrongheaded.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay or with being a chaser. If this guy is a licensed therapist then he should lose his license ASAP.



DJ contest

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Bear Abby,

Dear Bear Abby,

Hello, My name is Geoff, I've been a Deejay for 8yrs now and pretty much music is a huge impact on my life everytime I'm behind the decks at a party or in a club I pour my heart and soul into my sets and let my music do the talking and me less. So I was askezd to enter a DJ contest to show people my true talent, but everytime I enter these contest it's always based on votes from people on FB. Whist which I am so sick of because I Never win any of these contests. So I'll beat you to the punch line the contest I am the voting has already started and ends in April and yes so far I've been posting like crazy all over facebook and going to other websites and posting on there too and even blogs. even going out in person telling people that I'm in a contest and they should vote for me. My question is do you have any advice or g uidance? because it really bothers me when people tell me I have such good talent that I should enter these kind of contents and when I do I never win and always feel so bummed and let down.. Basically the winner of this contest get's to spin Live in Vegas for a big huge gay dance fest in front of thousands of people. And that's something I really want and no matter how much effort I put into this I never win. So any advice or ideas? or helpness I've already done a lot of networking but feel that I need some more guidance because I would really like to win this contest and have the best 2014 kick off summer ever.




Dear Geoff,

Rather than trying to figure out how best to campaign on Social Media, try contacting people who voted for other Deejays on Facebook and see if they will tell you why the voted the way they did. That may give you some insight into how to modify your spins or presentation.



Does my meal come with a free side...of you?

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Bear Abby,

Bear Abby,

I live in a small southern town. It's more open than some others, but it still feel uncomfortable in certain situations. I go to a fast food restaurant nearby for breakfast from the drive-thru before work. A really cute and seemingly nice guy typically works the window. I think he's gay, but know that's not always the case with showing slight effeminate traits.

I'd really like to ask him out, but do not know how to go about doing so. Lots of questions run through my mind. How to do it? What if I embarrass him at work? What if he isn't gay? Things would be very uncomfortable from here on out when I see him in the mornings. I do not know him outside of his workplace.

-Pondering John


Dear Pondering John,

Try to find out his first and last name. If you can do that then Google him and see if he has a Facebook page. If he does then you may be able to find out if he's gay or not or what his interests are. You can also try eating in the restaurant rather than using the drive through and trying to engage him in some casual conversation just to see how he responds. You might get lucky and learn something about him.

This column is for entertainment purposes only, and should only be used in that context. The advice presented here is only the opinion of the author and should not be construed as professional or expert advice. The owners of this site and authors are not responsible for the decisions you make in your own life including those based on any advice presented on this site.
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