The online community for gay chubs and chasers!




Bear Abby

From ugly dilemmas to sublime annoyances; Bear Abby has advice for all!


Young "Straight" Looking for a Date

Friday, February 28, 2014

Bear Abby,

Dear Bear Abby:

I am a soon to be 49yrs old. I was in an LTR for 12 yrs that ended 10yrs ago, I have recently decided that I will not find the love that i had know with my ex again, we are still best friends. So I have started talking to younger men. I was recently hit up by this inexperienced 28yr old. After 3 months of back and fourth making dates and canceling he finally admitted that he has a long time girlfriend. He still want's to meet but keeps putting it off. I have to admit he is very sexy and has even given me his home number (he lives with his parents). I don't know if I should continue this texting and email relationship, but I am extremely interested in knowing how it will turn out.

-Big Daddy for Straight Boy


Dear Big Daddy for Straight Boy,

The probability of anything coming of this relationship is slim. I suspect the younger guy is gay but having difficulty admitting it to himself, let alone anyone else in his life. He sounds like he is searching for a gay mentor rather than a relationship at this point. He wants your advice, counsel and friendship but is probably not wanting a boyfriend. If you are OK with that then by all means continue. He could use the guidance. If you want more than that then you need to back away so you are not hurt.



He loves me... He loves me not...?

Thursday, February 06, 2014

Bear Abby,

I got a few flirts from this guy on Bigger City, and when I responded with a flirt we started chatting a bit here and then eventually using a cellphone app. Right from the start I am suspicious of the way this guy is behaving because from the moment we started chatting he has been saying things like "I Love You" and "You have no idea how much I love you do you?". He begins each message with "Hello my love" and has asked me every day if I am mad at him if I miss a message here and there. I feel somewhat creeped out by the whole thing and have never once returned any message of endearment to him. We have discussed meeting but I live to far away for this to happen right now and I am a little scared about meeting him anyway. What advice can you offer me?



Dear Confused ,

You are correct to be suspicious. Anyone who starts throwing around the L word that casually without ever meeting in person is either REALLY desperate or trying to manipulate you in some way. Unfortunately a lot of chubs seem to be more susceptible than most to this kind of manipulation. I think you should cut off contact with this guy.




Friday, January 24, 2014

Bear Abby,

Good Afternoon

How do I get the email for the Webmaster as I would love to lend a hand to the Bear Abby column.

send me any information that you can to my profile enote

-Wanna Help


Dear Wanna Help,

Go to this link on bigger city:

Then click on the Contact Us button at the bottom of the page.

This column is for entertainment purposes only, and should only be used in that context. The advice presented here is only the opinion of the author and should not be construed as professional or expert advice. The owners of this site and authors are not responsible for the decisions you make in your own life including those based on any advice presented on this site.
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