He won't touch me
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Bear Abby,
Bear Abby, I'm in what is in most ways a wonderful relationship with a really great guy. Although he is 20 years older than me in most ways we are tremendously compatible. We are very affectionate and compatable. He is extremely supportive of all the things I want to try to do in my life. The only place we have a problem is in the bedroom.
He says he is not interested in sex and that his sex drive is basically none gone, but he gets on sex sites and spends literally hours looking at guys. In the meantime he has not touched me below the waist in over a year. The entire time we've been together he has hardly ever touched me ... there. He says it is because he is a top, although a non-functioning top by his own admission. From my side our sex life has been me orally taking care of him and jacking myself off for our entire relationship. Lately, its not even been that. I'm not pushy. I've said "ok, just hold me while I jack off" but lately even that has stopped. He keeps saying he can't. I am feeling like he just won't or decides he just doesn't want to. I don't understand how he can love me - and I know he does - and not want to see me enjoy myself.
It's really beginning to bother me. Not so much that we don't do anything but that he insists that its because he can't. I feel its that he doesn't want to and its that decision that he doesn't want to that hurts so much. I'm feeling unattractive and hurt. We've talked about it so much it feels like a broken record. What can
-Still alive below the waist
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