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My married boyfriend
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Bear Abby,
My married boyfriend and I have been dating for the past 3 years. I recently broke it off with him due to the fact that we've been together this long and he is still with his wife. And although I have never asked him to get divorced, I do feel he should have at least made a little more progress. He does have 2 children under 16 which is his primary reason for not leaving. I've told him that I can't go on like this any longer, and he insists that we stay together and salvage what we have. We see each other on weekends and he keeps throwing "guality over quantity" at me. I honestly do love him, but I'm totally confused about what to do. I never thought I would be in this situation, but I guess you really can't help who you fall in love with. Do you have any advise?? Please help.
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crazyconfused
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Dear
crazyconfused,
My last relationship before the one I'm in now was with a married man. The situation was very similar except that one of his children was over 18. I broke it off and he was heartbroken. I have since found and married (we live in California) the man I should have been with all along. Although ending the relationship hurt at the time, I have never regretted it. Once the recovery period was over it allowed me to find the relationship I was supposed to have. Every situation is unique but I suspect that the instinct which is telling you to end it and move on is a good one. You should probably listen to it.
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Here comes the BEAR!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Bear Abby,
What is your take on the gay marriage thing? Its a big issue here in California. Do you think that if gay marriage becomes legal in the US, that chubs/chasers are more likely, less likely, or equally likely to choose this option?
Just curious to get your opinion.
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Thinking of it someday
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Dear
Thinking of it someday,
I live in California too. My partner of 14 years and I got married in August, so that should give you an idea of my opinion on the matter. I don't think that chub/chaser couples are any more or less likely than any other gay couples to get married. Let's hope that the voters don't take the right awy this Novenmber.
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Stuck on how to move forward
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Bear Abby,
I have started going out again with one of my ex's. Now I know that isnt a good start but that isnt why Im in need of a third parties perspective and advice.
We broke up previously due to him needing space (work, family, hobby) and kept in touch through texts and messages on Facebook. We got together again about a month ago, but it is sort of turning out the same as before, which we have agreed that we didnt want. He has his job and I have mine (many many miles apart) but its his hobby that takes all his attention. I love him and he tells me that he loves me but at the moment the only time we get together is to talk occasionally on the phone (the phone sex is great).
Im not sure on how to take it forward, because I know that if we break up this time I doubt we'll be keeping in touch. He is a great guy and I am so confused.
Please offer any advice to settle my mind.
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Lost
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Dear
Lost,
As I see it, if the two of you are not spending much time together because of his hobby then his hobby is a greater priority for him than you are. If that is true then the relationship is not going anywhere and you should move on. There is nothing more painful or frustrating than trying to make a relationship work without the cooperation of the other person and it sounds to me like that is what you are doing.
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ASK BEAR ABBY
Got any dilemmas? Ask BearAbby for advice! [ ...]
DISCLAIMER
This column is for entertainment purposes only, and should only be used in that context. The advice presented here is only the opinion of the author and should not be construed as professional or expert advice. The owners of this site and authors are not responsible for the decisions you make in your own life including those based on any advice presented on this site. [ ...]
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